Simple Warning Signs of A Failing Relationship
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How To Fix A Failing Relationship
Valentine’s day is here again, and everyone is busy planning on what gift or present to give to their loved ones, and here I am with my own little token for my fans, readers and friends globally, please enjoy it and do have a lovely valentine’s day celebration ahead!
Firstly, I want to reiterate my commitment towards helping people (especially ladies) fix their relationships and live happily with their chosen partners. Remember, it was this desire and passion that first led me into the field of relationship counseling and guidance, and I will continue on that path, till the day I would draw in my last breathe.
It is no doubt that the most frequently asked question in the world today, is ‘how do I know that my partner truly loves me?’ Even though this particular question looks so simple, the answer is not that simple as we may think. Meanwhile, if you are a woman and you truly care to know the answer to that very question, then find time and go through the hub I titled: how to know if a guy truly loves you, and you will be amazed to read.
Now, back to our topic of discussion; simple warning signals of a failing relationship. Before I move on, I want to make it clear here that this very topic isn’t meant for women alone, but to also help men know when their relationship with a particular woman is approaching its failing point. And once again, the topic is not meant to scare you, but to assist you in making early diagnosis and to seek for immediate solution, if possible.
Meanwhile, knowing the signs of a bad relationship is only the beginning of a solution, and knowing how to end it, is the most important aspect that always prove difficult or sometimes impossible for majority of people.
All through my years of relationship counseling, I have come to realize that every bad relationship or let me say failing relationship, gives out red light warning signals, but most times, we are either too in love to see the warning signals, too naïve to notice, or too scared to do something about it, but that must not be the case this time, therefore, you must stand up to your feet and fight for your defeat!
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Signs of a Bad Relationship
Lies- this is a very important warning sign you mustn’t ignore, no matter what excuse your partner may give. Remember, when you love someone truly, you are scared to lie to them, scared to even think of it, so be very watchful.
Communication break- In my previous hubs on relationship and dating, I mentioned this very point, and you must be attentive to it. Communication is as important as the relationship itself, so when there is no good communication between you and your partner, it is a warning sign of danger ahead because relationship ought to be built on good communication. If the communication is lacking, make out time and discover who among you is not talking, and start to make corrections as soon as possible. On the contrary, wrong communication can destroy a relationship on its own, so make sure you guys are communicating rightfully.
Constant Argument- this is exactly what I call wrong communication, and you must try your best to avoid it if you want your relationship to last. But if this persist despite your struggles to change it, then you should start thinking otherwise. Remember, if every of your conversation with your partner ends up in an argument, then something is definitely wrong with the relationship. Remember again that it is not because you left the dirty dishes unwashed that brought up the argument and exchange of words, no they are just surface issue beneath which the main issue is buried. So what do you do in this kind of situation? Sit your partner down and find out the root source of this frequent arguing and quarreling.
Always going out alone- if your partner is always fond of going places without your company, you need to be aware that something is obviously wrong, he or she doesn’t love you, I am sorry to say that. Find out why he or she prefers to go out alone without you, he or she must be cheating or about to cheat.
Distance- Yes, “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” but “too much time apart can create emptiness that often leads to forget”. Therefore, if you and your partner are no longer as close as you once were, it’s an obvious warning sign that you mustn’t ignore.
Cheating- I don’t need to stress much on this very point, at least we all know that it is a good sign of bad relationship. Contrary, sometimes we make mistakes, and we also need to forgive when there is a genuine reason and communication. But frequent cheating is a definite sign of bad relationship, RUN!
Abusive relationship- you can forgive a cheating partner, once you’re convinced that it occurred mistakenly, but if someone that claims to love you must hit you to show how much they love you, then you must give them a big distance before they send you to an early grave, you don’t need such love no matter what. Please don’t ignore this very sign, it always end up disastrous if you do.
Trust- Trust is one of the most vital ingredients of every healthy relationship, and when it's not there, there is an inevitable danger ahead. Now, have you been vigilant enough to discover that people who don’t trust others are always not trust worthy themselves? Take little kids as an instance, they trust anybody because they are trust worthy and innocent. It is only trustful people that trust others because their hearts are innocent and devoid of evil thoughts. So if your partner has no trust in you, then you should be careful of him or her because he/her is not trust worthy, that’s the truth. A fraudster can never trust anybody with his or her money, that’s just it, it is only innocent people that trust people because they don’t know about the negative aspect of trust.
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@sandrafowke, thanks for stopping by and for saying the truth, i am glad you found it informative, please share to help others know. Thank you.
thanks it can big help . . trust is the one i need to have
@eurica, you're gladly welcome, i am really glad you found the article helpful, it makes me feel fulfilled with what i am doing- providing helpful counseling for people in a relationship, especially young ladies....please do share the article on your facebook wall...thanks for stopping by. Above all, you seriously need to work hard to develop your trust with the one you love, it matters a lot in every healthy relationship, and also determines its success or failure. Good luck dear.
he didmt show up for valentines day
Hi accofranco! Great hub very detailed with lots of good information. This list was very helpful and will give a lot of couples a great deal of help. We all know how important these things are, but do we actually take these problems into effect when we they are happening? Probably not. Hopefully this will help people realize that these are problems and not something to ignore! Thanks for posting this hub I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work :) Voted up and useful:)
Been married to my wife seven yrs and she has cheated twice and here recently she has gotten secretive with her phone again she forgot it one day and I got home before her and I went through it found a guy she was talking to and a bunch of nude photos of her that was two weeks ago and I no longer live their I have two children and hate to leave them but don't think I can forgive again she says im overreacting what are your thoughts
Having been married, then divorced and single and not dating for 9 years, then ultimately meeting the one whom I fulfilled - rather than who completed me - and now in my mid 70's, I have observed some important themes for bliss.
First - I believe that physical attraction is a visual form of assessment of a person's imagined desired personna.
Second - Beauty is not entirely physical, but is ample criteria for some whose simple lust is sufficient.
Third - "FALLING" in love is simplistic beyond intellect. Knowing a person emotionally and intellectually is a much deeper intimate 'oneness' and likely explains how some couples who communicate without defense mechanisms for protection achieve far more intimate understanding and committment to making it last, because they want to know more of the other.
Fourth - I pondered how I knew I loved someone, and came up with 3 reasons: I wanted to be with her and not be away from her for any time; I wanted to do things for her and give her things that brought her pleasure; and I wanted to labor alongside her in a single purpose with the pulling together toward a mutual goal - committment.
Profound things become simple and extremely desired when agreed upon, and ideas shared and mutually admired as worthy usually are successful. In a marriage, there is often conflict over power and control, But I can tell you that a two-headed thing is an ugly monstrosity and unity of ideas and goals will not follow.
When you love someone, it is their welfare that becomes paramount - selflessness disappears. It is true that love, like friendship, is steady .... and a friendship, like love, is warm...
anyone who overlooks these signs should blame herself because they are very clear
Thanks, very informative! Keep sharing
I really like this because It showed me how horrible my last relationship was.
i can relate..:[
@All, please forgive me for late response, I lost a beloved brother in a car accident recently, and ever since his sudden death, I have been too busy with running his business and mine at the same time. Thanks for bearing with me.
@tina, not showing up for valentine's day shouldn't be a problem if he had a tight schedule, so why not try and investigate why he didn't show up? thanks dear for stopping by.
@kayyluh, thanks a lot, you really lifted my heart with your warm comment, thank you and pls do share the article.
@confused, you have a right to been angry and upset with her actions, but then, without sin, there won't be forgiveness, so if truly she has repented and turned a way from her past lifestyle, you can find a place in your heart to accommodate her, at least, the devil we know is better than an angel we don't know. forgiveness is a vital aspect of every successful relationship.
@Hated By Liberals, wow!...you really have a take on this one...haha..nice tips for readers to go home with...thanks for stopping by, really appreciate your immense comment.
@Geraldnduru , thanks my friend, we thank God for the gift of internet, which now makes it easy for all to access vital information that would add positively to our lives. Thank you.
@Dr.Ope, hey...good to hear from you again, I hope you're doing greatly? Thanks for stopping by.
@lili, glad you found it useful, and I am very sorry for your past, try and put it behind and forge ahead, what is ahead of us is greater than what we've been through. goodluck and thanks for stopping by.
@mme, glad you can...do share...
wow, dis piece is really informative and educating...
@accofranco, Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.
This is all very interesting. Thank you for this thread, it was helpful in a way that allowed me to break down some of the problem areas in my marriage. However...
In the past 16 yrs we have been together, we have both been guilty of and victim to the signs listed here.
We have tried many things to correct our issues but they have all failed.
I for one am literally at my wits end and fear for my sanity. I have been thinking about divorce, but that scares the crap out of me, mostly because of the effects it will have on our 4 yr old daughter.
I can sence the fact that we still love each other however we are not "in" love anymore. Not even a little.
Please help. :(
16 is very young to love someone? Is it necessary to turn 18 and love someone!
Please I must apologize to you guys for my late response, it's cos of my new job role....been too busy, please do bear with me.
@ovie, thanks a lot for stopping by.
@Hardwire, thank you so much, God bless you. Hmmmmmm, I understand your situation, you are really standing on a cross road, quite a difficult situation, but if I may ask, what is the major problem that you guys are facing, so I can profer a timely advice, thanks as I await to hear from you.
@Vidhi, lol...platonic love is okay at 16, but why not wait and use more of your time to engage in building a better promising future for yourself than to engage in adult love which may end up hurting you? Thanks for making out time to ask a very vital question.
Thank you for this. It showed me that my last relationship failing wasn't all my fault like he said it was. I did try o fix everything. But I just couldn't. In the end, I let everything go and I'm not regretting it one bit. :)
Thanx a lot,this is really helpful...i have really carried my past pains and now am so afraid of being hurt again.i just entered a new relationship few months back,had our first intimacy(sex), and now i feel things are no more the same, but am still watching. Thanks once again!
accofanco, First of all, congrats on the new job! I hope all is going well for you :)
Thank you for your response. It would seem that we have a major communication problem and absolutely no compromising ability at all.
We argue/fight every single weekend over just about everything that comes up. It's like we just cant stand each others company anymore.
We didn’t used to be in this situation, but when I lost my high paying job in 08, it’s been down hill ever since. I am amazed we still have the house let alone our marriage. Sadly, what it has come down to is that I am only staying here because of our little girl as she needs her daddy and I cannot bear to think what life would be like with out seeing her every day.
So to some what sum it up:
Zero Communication/Skills, Zero Compromise and very little to no trust.
accofranco, In reply to your response, the major problems we are facing are as follows:
1. Very little communication skills, we don't "get" each other
2. There is NO compromise what so ever on anything
3. We seem to argue about everything most of the time
4. We don't see eye to eye on any topic, like ever
5. We have very different views on what's best for our daughter at any given time.
6. Money. Never seems to be enough money anymore. And we have very little debt outside of the mortgage
7. And last but not least...trust, no trust, never really has been much of that
That about sums it up in a nutshell as far as I can see from my side. As for the compromise, well, we purchased the home she grew up in from her Dad after her Mom passed away and that was in 2003. We need to do updates to the house but I am not allowed to change a thing because to her everything is sentimental. I'm a person who likes change and a modern house to live in. Granted this old house has charm, but it also needs allot of work that I'm not allowed to give it. This is a big issue with us.
@Dani, thanks so much, I feel so alive reading comments like yours, stay blessed and don't worry, you will find love soonest.
@Jane, hmmmmm....so painful, I always advice ladies to hold their feelings, especially when it comes to having intimacy with their lover, because most times, it kills the desire and passion in most men, once they indulge in intimacy with a lady they love.....anyway, the deed is done, stay focused and keep watching him with your wisdom at alert, I pray it works out fine this time. Good luck dear, and thanks for stopping by.
@Hardwire,.....really a hard situation....okay, okay....thanks, my job is okay, just that I hardly have time for myself and even to do some things like updating my blogs, etc....but I am looking for a way to combine the two....meanwhile, do you still want this man for real? Do you truly want things to work between you guys? Are u still in love with him? Pls get back to me before I can finally advice/suggest. Thanks guys.....pls do share the article on your facebook and twitter walls. Stay blessed.
sandrafowke 3 months ago
I found this hub very informative. So many people don't see the warning signs of a failing relationship till it's too late - me included!